What happens to you following a distressing or traumatic incident is a personal thing. You and your family, friends or co-workers may have different feelings and reactions to that same incident. This is natural, and you will be making your own adjustments as you recover. As time goes by, your recollection of the incident will fade, but it is likely, depending upon what happened, that the memory may never go completely away. It can be helpful for you to talk about what happened, and not just think about it, which can result in more problems. Find a friend, a family member, or someone supportive who can listen and let you express yourself.
Common Reactions
After exposure to an intense, unusual event, some people experience reactions that are out of the ordinary for them. These are normal reactions to a situation that is not normal, and can be dealt with in a healthy way.
Tips for Coping
Talk about what happened and how you felt. Do not be afraid to let others know you need support.
Structure your time more carefully than usual and maintain control over your daily schedule where you can. Do not agree to do things you do not want to do. It is important that you care for your needs right now.
Return to a normal routine as soon as you can. Wake up, eat, and sleep when you normally do.
Exercise and eat right. Avoid foods high in fat, salt, and sugar.
Do not abuse alcohol or other drugs. It is never a good idea to try and medicate emotions that do not feel good. It usually means we just have to deal with them later.
Grief
After a traumatic incident we sometimes have a sense of loss, such as our peace of mind and sense of security. Other times the loss may be a friend, co-worker, or significant person in our lives. As we grieve, we all experience the same stages of grief. The timing and duration of the healing phases vary by person but include:
Denial
Shock
Anger
Sadness
Acceptance
It can take time before the pain and sadness go away; we cannot put a timetable to that process. We each take our own paths, and it is not fair for you to compare yourself to how others are doing. What has been shown to help is talking about your feelings with someone you trust.
Getting Back on Track
It is okay to acknowledge what you are feeling after a traumatic incident. When something traumatic happens, we may wonder “What did I do to deserve this?” or “What could I have done differently?” Indecision, doubt, worry and being over-cautious can keep you trapped at the moment of the trauma, and prevent you from moving forward. Instead, focus on the present and what you need now to help you. Being able to do that will help you get back your life and happiness.
